Swimming Pools
by SKRowling
Summary: Song fic... Pour up, drank, head shot, drank, Sit down, drank, stand up, drank, Pass out, drank, wake up, drank, Faded, drank, faded, drank... Rated M for heavy alcohol use. Disclaimer: I do not own victorious... nope... not even the song Swimming pools. Don't Hate Beck because of this story either... I needed a scapegoat. ONESHOT


**A/N: I was listening to music as always because that is what I do every day, and I stopped to listen to this song before changing the station (because I was sitting in traffic with my children. Song Swimming Pools (Drank) By Kendrick Lamar kind of snuck into my psyche and I thought how tragic… what a great Jori story. Wanna do one with another song… but I don't know if I will. I sure hope you guys enjoy! S.K.**

**Swimming Pools**

_**Swimming pools by Kendrick Lamar**_

_**[Hook]**_**  
Pour up, drank, head shot, drank  
Sit down, drank, stand up, drank  
Pass out, drank, wake up, drank  
Faded, drank, faded, drank**

I am tired of this. Why if you ask me, I hate how I am feeling. Why do I keep doing this to myself, night after night? Then I wake up every morning with a head ache and a mouth full of cotton, and the only way to get over it is take another sip or never take another ever again…

I open my eyes to the blinding light of the open hotel window. "Fuck opened the curtain?" I moaned placing a pillow over my head. I felt a leg slung over my bare thigh and a slim arm snake over my waist. Shit, not again. I push the arm and leg away and slide out of the bed. I grabbed my shades off of the nightstand and put them on as I made my way to the bathroom tentatively stepping around the littered bodies of party revelers and beer bottles.

"Fuck was I faded." I mumble pouring some water into the glass by the sink.

_**[Verse 1]**_**  
Now I done grew up  
Round some people living their life in bottles  
Granddaddy had the golden flask  
Backstroke every day in Chicago**

This is what I have known. As a child star, okay so I was a teenager, but still it is something to be around all the time. It was as if celebrity gave me a license to consume whatever the fuck I wanted. So I did it. I went to the clubs and did a little dancing with my Momager, drank a little, smoked a little and it was all good. I lived my life cross-faded. But I didn't start out hard core.

**Some people like the way it feels  
Some people wanna kill their sorrows  
Some people wanna fit in with the popular  
That was my problem**

I started to feel sick to my stomach and dropped to my knees. The intense pain of burning alcoholic acid as it came up and out of my mouth always made me want to never have a drink again. But there was always someone there to remind me that drinking was cool. Pot was cool. It's what we did.

I groaned and dropped onto my back into the filthy bathroom floor. This hotel bill was going to be insane. Whatever, the studio would pay, they always did. They never complained about what I did as long I showed up to work on time and delivered my lines right.

**I was in the dark room  
Loud tunes, looking to make a vow soon  
That I'ma get fucked up, fillin' up my cup**

_I tried to remember the night. This party was epic. There were people I hadn't seen in years. Robbie, Andre, Beck, Cat… and Her. She actually came, she's always busy but she came. But she seemed so angry to see what was happening that she left soon after._

_My heart sank when she left, I mean. Why should what she think matter so much? And why shouldn't it? Didn't she understand I loved her? Didn't she know I needed her? Yeah we broke up, but that wasn't really my choice. I sighed, "Fuck it." I said and poured another drink.  
_**I see the crowd mood  
Changing by the minute and the record on repeat  
Took a sip, then another sip, then somebody said to me:**

_**[Chorus]**_**  
Nigga why you babysittin' only 2 or 3 shots?  
I'ma show you how to turn it up a notch  
First you get a swimming pool full of liquor, then you dive in it  
Pool full of liquor, then you dive in it**

_Beck dropped down next to me as I sipped my little drink. "You're tame tonight."_

_I quirked a brow and smirked. "Just started."_

"_You aren't gonna get faded like that." Beck said and chugged the drink he held in his hand._

"_She left Beck." I said softly and placed my head on his shoulder._

"_You know she was never into this scene. Her Rep is seriously at stake if she is scene at things like this. Tori's never been one of those people that had to be cool."_

"_I was never like that." I mumbled into his chest. _

"_It's what you're surrounded by." He said and handed me a bottle of Vodka. "Don't spoil the fun; just go." He urged me and I complied._

**I wave a few bottles, then I watch 'em all flock  
All the girls wanna play Baywatch  
I got a swimming pool full of liquor and they dive in it  
Pool full of liquor I'ma dive in it  
**

_The pace became frantic. Everyone started really partying now. The music was loud the wet bar was flowing. Puff, puff... Pass. Damn I dived into a pool full of liquor, and I was lost. My vision blurred and I remember turning to Beck, and making out with him like we had in high school. Then there was a girl that came up behind me and pulled me away._

_My girlfriend… I have a girl friend… I had a girlfriend. Damn._

_She slapped me hard and stormed away. I can't say that it hurt neither physically or mentally or emotionally. I was numb._

_**[Hook]**_**  
Pour up, drank, head shot, drank  
Sit down, drank, stand up, drank  
Pass out, drank, wake up, drank  
Faded, drank, faded, drank  
**  
I groaned and lay on my side. I had to get off this dirty floor. I crawled out of the bathroom. My leather leggings getting punctured by glass on the ground. I made it back to the couch where I had lost my mind the night before. And collapsed with my head down on the pillow. Faded…

_**[Verse 2]**_**  
Okay, now open your mind up and listen to me, Kendrick  
I'm your conscience, if you do not hear me  
Then you will be history, Kendrick  
I know that you're nauseous right now  
And I'm hopin' to lead you to victory, Kendrick  
If I take another one down  
I'ma drown in some poison abusin' my limit**

"Jade, wake up." I heard as I was being shaken. Someone was holing my hand but I couldn't open my eyes. Slender hands ran through my hair and whispered. "Jade, you have to open your eyes, because if you don't you may never open them again."

"Tori?" I moaned, and I felt her sigh in relief.

"Yeah it's me." She said softly, "Sit up for me Jade."

"No," I answered.

"You are gonna pick alcohol over coffee? Never thought I'd see the day." She said to me.

I opened my eyes and cringed at the brightness in the room. "Ow…" I said as I sat up.

She handed me a huge cup of Jet Brew black, I inhaled the aroma and smiled. "I thought this would help." She said softly.

"Thanks." I said as I sipped in silence for a while. "When you left last night…"

"Listen Jade, You have a problem. I couldn't even stay here and witness that. I walked away from the life style not you." She stood up and walked away. She was determined to get out what she came here to say. "I know that you're nauseous right now but I think that I need to be your conscience right now. You need to stop where you are heading. You are getting to that point where you won't be functional anymore and your heading down a very dark road. Be like Drew Barrymore, not Lindsay Lohan. Recover."

**I think that I'm feelin' the vibe  
I see the love in her eyes, I see the feelin'  
The freedom is granted as soon as the damage of vodka arrive  
This how you capitalize  
This is parental advice  
Then apparently, I'm over influenced by what you are doin'  
I thought I was doin' the most then someone said to me**

I went to rehab. For her, for me, I was really tired of feeling like shit. 28 days in a place where I could reflect and think and think and think. Yes, I could do it. I could be free from this.

She came to see me, and I thought maybe if I did this right I could win her back. I want her back. But I am not supposed to get involved with anyone for at least six months. So I had to grow some patience.

I got out of Rehab feeling better than I had for a long time. I saw her again, but she was on some guys arm. She had a man. No matter. I had done this for me mainly… right?

_**[Chorus]**_**  
Nigga why you babysittin' only 2 or 3 shots?  
I'ma show you how to turn it up a notch  
First you get a swimming pool full of liquor, then you dive in it  
Pool full of liquor, then you dive in it  
I wave a few bottles, then I watch 'me all flock  
All the girls wanna play Baywatch  
I got a swimming pool full of liquor and they dive in it  
Pool full of liquor I'ma dive in it  
**

Andre was having a party. Yes, I would go… I will stay sober. I looked around the room. "Jade!"

I turned to the voice. It was Amanda Ryan. My girlfriend… ex… ex-girlfriend. She came up to me and kissed me soundly. I could taste the alcohol in her mouth. And like a true addict I clung to her I deepened the kiss to get a better taste.

Why not, I needed to get laid, and my whole reason for sobering up was so that I could have Tori back. Wasn't gonna happen. Worst thing ever because before I knew it… There was a swimming pool full of Liquor and I dived in it.

****_**[Hook]**_**  
Pour up, drank, head shot, drank  
Sit down, drank, stand up, drank  
Pass out, drank, wake up, drank  
Faded, drank, faded, drank  
**

I groaned and turned my head a naked body pressed against mine on a white leather couch. "Shit." I moaned and removed Amanda's arm off of my waist, an crawl around searching for my clothes.

I had to make it to a bathroom quickly. I covered myself as best as I could as I picked through the litter of bodies. This was so familiar. I'm twenty years old, if I were a normal girl; this probably wouldn't be so easy for me.

I stepped over someone and I didn't quite make it and I threw up right next to him or her on the floor. "Ugh… Shit… I'm sorry." I whispered and rushed into the bathroom to finish what I had started.

****_**[Bridge]**_**  
I ride, you ride, bang  
One chopper, one hundred shots, bang  
Hop out. Do you; bang?  
Two chopper, two hundred shots, bang  
I ride, you ride, bang  
One chopper, one hundred shots, bang  
Hop out, do you, bang  
Two chopper, two hundred shots, bang**

Flashes of the night before began to come back to me as I showered. What had I done? Oh I got laid. A few times I think. Amanda, some random dude, another random person. "Fuck!"

I got out of the shower and dressed. I ran out of there and went straight to an AA meeting. "I'm Jade west, and I'm an Alcoholic."

"Hey Jade…"

_**[Chorus]**_**  
Nigga why you babysittin' only 2 or 3 shots?  
I'ma show you how to turn it up a notch  
First you get a swimming pool full of liquor, then you dive in it  
Pool full of liquor, then you dive in it  
I wave a few bottles, then I watch 'em all flock  
All the girls wanna play Baywatch  
I got a swimming pool full of liquor and they dive in it  
Pool full of liquor I'ma dive in it**

About A year later, I went to the Governors Ball after the Oscars. My full year of sobriety had been the best creative year I had had. And I had been nominated for best supporting actress. I didn't win, but just imagine I was even counted among the few. I got to go to the show, and the parties… which I had actually avoided.

People were celebrating heavily, with much of the same things. But I stayed sober thinking of a girl back home that I wanted to stay sober for.

I watched as everyone drank, and I sipped at my apple cider and I chatted with some other nominees. "Jade!" I heard from behind me and I turned. I had heard that she had come with someone. I was so glad to finally see her.

"Hey Tori." I said hugging the love of my life to me.

"Congrats on the nom." She said linking her fingers to mine.

I looked down at our hands, then back up at her and smiled. I fell into the swimming pools of brown, and I dived in.

_**[Hook]**_**  
Pour up, drank, head shot, drank  
Sit down, drank, stand up, drank  
Pass out, drank, wake up, drank  
Faded, drank, faded, drank **

I stretched languidly and opened my eyes. I had been drunk last night, but the good kind of drunk. Drunk with love. I got my girl. I reached for her and realized she wasn't there. I sat up and wrapped the sheets around me because I could hear her down the hall singing.

I walked into Leah's room and There Tori was singing to my three-month-old little girl. A reminder that I had the strength in me to resist alcohol. It was still hard, but I remembered her. The last time I had lost myself in the liquor, she happened. "Morning." I said startling Tori.

Leah let out a whine, she loves her voice just like I do I guess. "Hey, Jade. She started crying so I figured I'd get her and let you sleep"

I smiled and came closer. "She looks good in your arms." I said softly.

"I love her Jade." Tori said. "I love you both, I missed you so much."

"I love you too, stay with me please." I begged and I didn't care.

She turned and hugged me. Lea squirmed between us kind of gumming my chest. She's hungry. "I'll never leave you like that again." I sighed happy that now I had my family. I'll never get faded again.


End file.
